So yesterday I posted about the terrible happenings of this past weekend. (If you missed it, read the last post here.) I also posted a link to my GoFundMe page asking for donations to help me get back some of the money lost in the burglary and to replace the window. I didn’t expect much… maybe $100 or so to help me pay back some of the ensuing credit card charge. But you guys have been very generous and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. So far you’ve raised $350 in less than 24 hours.
You are amazing.
I negotiated my bill with the auto glass company down to $300 including tax, so this has already been covered. I thank you so much! The money left to raise will go toward the cash that was stolen. I’m almost tempted to take the GoFundMe page down, but then I remember how much my feet hurt after working from 8:00 Friday morning until 1:00AM Friday night and I resolved myself to leave it up. Plus, the kindness and support and messages I’ve received are wonderful. You are wonderful. Thank you.
Now I turn to the real reason for this post, which is to take a moment and reflect on this situation in its entirety. To start, one person sucked, and sucked big time; he took my money and wrecked my car window. Then, people hugged me, bought me drinks, and sat with me while I was in a bit of shock. Yesterday, people started donating to help me recoup some of this money; people who couldn’t donate sent notes of encouragement.
So how can I look at this situation and conclude that people suck?
That night, after my money was stolen and I’d had a drink (or three), I started talking to one of my friends about the situation. (Mind you this was before I’d considered the cost of the window repair. I was only thinking about the stolen cash at this point.) In my slightly tipsy and ever-pensive state, I started talking about the nature of human beings and my relationship with them in the world.
There have been many times in my life when people have tried to break me. I assume everyone reading this has been in at least one similar circumstance. Just a few examples: My purse was once stolen out of the trunk of my car at a football game. I was once stalked and forced to quit my job because a co-worker was upset and decided revenge was the ticket. (She even wrote, “I’m going to rape and kill Rachel” on the door of the building I worked in. Fun, right?) There have been countless occasions of bad friends letting me down amidst the depths of my depression. And after each bad interaction I think to myself, “I should just stop trusting people. People hurt people. I’m sick of being the nice guy while everyone else shits on my life.”
But after this situation, in that moment, with the people around me being so kind as to make me cry, I didn’t think that. Instead I said to my friend:
I’m not going to let this break me. I am not going to allow some lowlife junkie to determine how I’m going to feel. So my tips were stolen… No one was hurt. I’m not going to allow this one awful person to make me a worse person. I’m going to continue to try and do good. I’m going to be the person I am. I’m not going to let this jade me.
And in that moment I felt what I was saying with my whole heart. While it should be noted that the next day I had other (angry) thoughts, nonetheless I’m back to feeling this way now. And the reason I feel this way again is because of the people who have reached out. It’s because of those who are determined to prove that not everyone sucks; not everyone is out for only themselves. There are still people out there who have sympathy, empathy, or compassion.
I’m lucky in this life to have even a few of those people around me, and I can’t thank you enough.
And now you:
What have you overcome in your quest for goodness? What is the worst thing someone has done to you that has made you question your intentions?